The Wind in the Willows

That happens to be a favorite book of mine, but today it took on a new meaning.

I went for my walk today, planning on breaking my speed record of 16:30/mi.  It started out great, the kids were happy, it's a beautiful 50 degrees, couldn't have picked a better day.  I turned on runkeeper and looked at the gps strength...Nothing, just an x.  Well, this has happened before, usually I just have to start it again and problem solve. Re-started...nothing, still and x.  Re-start again, nothing.  Finally on the third re-start I got the green spot, I'm good to go.  Now, I should have known starting off that way something was bound to keep me from my goal.  I should have known.  As I turned the corner of my first quarter mile, the wind picks up.  Here's a little confession: not having ever really been a runner, and the few times I did run being always on a treadmill, I never understood  why runners complained about wind slowing their time.  My brother and sisters ran track and any time the wind coincided with a track meet they were angry, the goals they had set for the day were going to be impossible to achieve.
With all the background I should have known.  I should have known, especially since I was not only running by myself, but I was pushing a double jogging stroller.  I started out at a steady 16:30 but as the wind picked up, my pace dropped to 17:30, then 17:45.  I was so disappointed, not only was I not going to break my record but I was worse than I had been since I began.  My pace was so slow, maybe I should just give up and go home, maybe I was done for the day.  Then I rounded the corner, the sun shone bright and, typical to local weather, the wind stopped.   Not decreased, not became a breeze, it stopped, dead still.
There was a new hope, no wind!  So I dared to try something new.  I had to cut quite a bit of time to make my goal.  I hadn't run with the jogging stroller yet and I wasn't sure I could do it.  I only went in little spurts, about a minute each, but I did it.  I ran three times before the two miles were up and dropped my pace down to the lowest it had ever been  16:04!  It was amazing.  I went from what I was sure would be my worst pace ever to the best.  A good day.

Interesting

Well it dawned on me today, I only have one more week before I begin training for my first 5k.  I know, I had the goal to run on in November.  Needless to say, that didn't happen.  My new goal is April 16th and I have a seven week plan to get ready.  I'm scared, really scared.  Not of running, I can make myself do that.  It's the fact that I'm not very fast nor have I EVER run any where near that much in my life.  When I say ever I mean: the farthest I've run is one mile and it's been three years since I have done that.  That said, my fear has nothing to do with the running.  My fear is that not only will I come in dead last, but that it will be fifteen minutes after everyone else has run.  I have an almost daily conversation with myself about this.  "You're running, that's what is important, people (yes, I'm concerned about my image an those around me) won't care, they will be impressed that you are out there trying"  "No they won't, they'll see me and think, this girl is crazy to do this, she's no runner, she probably can't even walk the three miles, let alone run it."  "The point is to run and to finish.  You will be able to say you did it.  No one else matters."  "Yeah, I know, but...."
On and on it goes.  It's a silly, irrational fear but it's there in the back of my mind each time I go out.  Who is seeing me, what are they thinking.  I need to let it go.  I need to do this for me no matter what and stop using that as an excuse.  But...(as my sister would there, there is always a big but...) it's there.

On a lighter note, I did walk my two miles today.  Internal battle notwithstanding, I had my best time.  It took 33:37 to go two miles and an average pace of 16:38 per mile.  I've never gotten below an average of 17 before.  I'm pretty proud of myself  When I was looking at my speeds on runnkeeper, at one point I was walking 13:40/mile.  AWESOME!  I'm sure I must have been going downhill but still....I'll take it!

2/4/2011: First run!

Here is my first day of running.  I've decided I really like runkeeper, I'm able to see how fast I run and it even has a coaching system that I can customize.  Not bad for my first real run in three years (even then I started out at this pace, so I'm pretty proud of myself)I was obviously getting worn out by the end of the run.   Tomorrow is a walking day.  I've been walking roughly two miles a day five days a week for the last three weeks.  I'm pretty proud of myself and I can't wait to start training for my 5k in April.

Intervals	Pace (min/mi)	Elevation (ft)
5:00 (warmup)	16:46	2
1:00 (fast)	11:57	1
1:00 (slow)	17:29	-1
1:00 (fast)	12:40	0
1:00 (slow)	16:08	-1
1:00 (fast)	12:06	-2
1:00 (slow)	16:43	1
1:00 (fast)	13:35	-1
1:00 (slow)	18:47	1
1:00 (fast)	12:59	1
1:00 (slow)	20:17	-1
5:00 (cooldown)	20:42	-1
0:23 (extra)	22:01	0

It's mine, all mine!!!!

It's coming.....Soon, this will be the view at my house.  Winter is coming and guess what, I'm a wimp in the cold.  There are so many studies saying how good exercising in the cold is for you(as long as you do it correctly) But honestly, I hate the cold.  This, of course, puts a damper on my running goals.  Sure I could bundle up and brave the weather as so many other die-hard runners do....but as mentioned above, I'm a wimp.  What is a heat loving girl to do?  What I've been doing since August....find a treadmill. Well, last week I finally did it. I found a used one that wasn't to beaten up for a reasonable price and now I can run without fear of old man winter.

There she is.  She even folds up so I can have my craft room and my exercise room.  I found another benefit...more time with my girls.  I know I bought the double jogging stroller to take them with me, but due to   life, I don't have as much one on one time with them as I would like.  I hate taking even more of it to go for a run.  This could only happen when they were both awake and happy anyway, a very rare thing.  So now, 5:30 every morning my alarm goes off and I take 30 minutes to myself while they sleep to work out.  I'm not anywhere near where I want to be, my legs and muscles are so weak that going at a speed of 3.5 nearly turns them to jelly.  Each day I need to work a bit harder so I can run again!

Not so much fun

So my annual fall cold has settled in, which makes running out.  I can barely breath and the day is punctuated by what should be sneezing fits.  I would LOVE it if that would actually happen, but no.  My body likes to tease me.  My nose starts to tickle, the tension builds up and.....nothing, my eyes start looking like I just watched a good chick flick and my nose turns into a waterfall.  Long story short, I don't feel good.  The really bad news, besides not being able to exercise, is I'm one of those illogical people that when they feel horrible instead of eating healthy foods and taking better care of themselves, eat junk.  This weekend gave me plenty opportunity.  Halloween and I were good friends, but I'm feeling it now.  Time to go buy some orange juice and Sudafed.  Maybe I should take a nap too........

My first mile

Many evenings my husband and I load the girls up in the stroller and go for a walk.  A nice leisurely stroll that entertains Sunshine and calms Squeaker for the night.  Every night we go I think, "there's my exercise for the day, I'm doing so good."   Yup, time after time I lie to myself.  Don't get me wrong.  It's good to take a walk, something is always better than nothing.  However, if my ultimate goal is to run a marathon, well.....yeah, need something more.  So today I started.  I walked a five minute warm up, then came my first sprint.  Only fifteen seconds into it, my legs were on fire and my lungs felt like they were going to burst.  I thought this over and over again.  I pushed for sixty seconds then began my two minute recovery walk (remember, I haven't run for almost three years and I've put on about sixty pounds since the last time) and I decided I could do this.  I just can't think about it hurting.  Ninety percent of the pain was in my mind anyway and as long as I pushed, I would get to the other side.  By the third sprint I couldn't "feel" any pain.  In fact, I felt good.  My body began to remember how to run.  My legs moved and pushed and it was amazing.  Twenty-five minutes later and I was back home.  Sixteen minutes.  That's how long it took me to go a mile.  My first mile in three years.  Now, I didn't run the whole time, but I will work up to that.  Little by little I will make it.

My new friend

Biggest Loser. I think it might be an obessession of mine. Week after week watching people lose all that weight, it's a miracle. Many times I think if I were just there, it would make all the difference. Someone watching my every move, pushing me harder than I ever thought possible. Yeah, if I just had that I could do anything. Then I see Jillian screaming and swearing at everyone....I would meltdown constantly. I really would be the one crying in every shot. I don't do well with pressure.
Anyway, it is a good motivator. Today (I know it's not Tuesday. Hulu. Nuff said) I was watching and was reminded of the most basic principle of weight loss: calories in, calories out. The more you consume the more you have to work to burn it all, the more you burn the more weight you will lose. Well, I hate tracking those things. Books take too long and I never know how many calories I burn when I work out (plus I hate math and waiting till the end of the day to add it all up makes underestimating my calories in very easy). I'd love to get the trackers that you just wear all day, but they're a little too spendy for my budget right now. So what's a girl to do?
 I found a website called My fitness pal It has a huge data base of food and their nutrition facts, including brand names so you don't have to guess if it's close to what you are using. It sets a calorie intake goal for you and then as you add things it shows exactly how much more you can eat. Best thing about it? There are apps for your phone. Yup, you don't have to be tied to your computer to keep track(just to your cell phone, but aren't we all at this point anyway?) that way you can enter as you eat and decide if that extra helping will really fit in or not.
It also has a place for exercise.  You pick the workout and how long you did it and it gives you how many calories you've burned.  Of course, this is an estimate, but at least you get an idea.
I'm still pretty new to it and there are a ton of aspects that I haven't explored yet. I'm loving it so far though and plan to keep using it.